there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
