im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
