I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
