so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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