I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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