It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
