i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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