Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
