Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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