i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
