I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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