yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
