Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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