His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
