But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
