3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
