i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
