if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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