How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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