things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
