This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
