How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
