...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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