Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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