After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
