Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
