turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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