Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize