they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
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Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
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He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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