On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
