i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
