The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
