I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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