When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
