i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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