pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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