So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
