You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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