i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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