so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
