I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
