OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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