u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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