Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
