Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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