If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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