Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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