I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it's great music for shaving your balls
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
