i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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