I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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