omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
