I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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