I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
