Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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