I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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