i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
