I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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