3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
