This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
