Don't you send me to vm
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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