great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
