I wish I only lived at night.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
